You think only chubby girls have it bad?
It's the exact same with skinny girls tau? Only difference is we're on the other tip of the scale.
Most people will avoid saying "you're so fat" to chubby girls, but a lot of people have no qualms whatsoever saying "you ni kurus sangat la, makan la lebih sikit" to skinny girls. Puih!
"Makan la lebih sikit" has the same negative impact on a skinny girl as "you need to eat less" to a chubby girl.
We hate these statements because abiding by them, no matter how religiously, don't work.
I can still clearly recall the public insults I got for being skinny, as if I don't have a face. As if I don't have value. Of course, these bitches will say they didn't mean it as an insult but imagine this...
You're in a full elevator, it is peak hour. Semua orang nak balik cepat. Basically, it is a vertically moving sardine can. You're standing tightly to the wall on one corner minding your own business and suddenly from the opposite corner, fully audible to everyone... "Aznin! Cantik baju...tapi u ni kurus sangat la. U kena makan banyak sikit tau sebab tak elok la kurus sangat. Betul, akak cakap jujur ni. Kalau gemuk sikit lagi cantik." And then u, the victim, boleh rasa the blood draining from your face, the humiliation of being humiliated in the presence of friends and strangers, not to mention foes (puas la hati korang kan?). And then, yang lebih memalukan is when you notice these people looking at you noticing your vulnerability at being caught off guard. So off guard, that you don't even have a comeback line. You just stand there.
Wow! What a field day that bitch must've had, singly picking me out for some happy hour fun eh? Jujur eh? Jujur, my foot! If you do it with discretion, I'd consider that jujur. But this, this is bullying. Shame on you!
You walk into office, your colleagues already at their desks and one kakak yang trigger happy tiba-tiba go like "Ya Allah kurusnya Aznin ni...macam rangka hidup. Azniiinn.... bukan nak cakap apa, tapi tak elok la. Makan la lebih sikit. Cer tengok tu..." sambil tengok you atas bawah and tambah sound effect "tsk tsk tsk" sambil geleng kepala.
Ko buta eh? Yang aku tiap2 pagi makan nasi lemak 2 bungkus tu ko tak nampak? I don't remember myself asking for your opinion pun. Aku bukan cam kau, hadam sekut 2 keping pun boleh naik 1kg sejam.
Though these happened almost 20 years ago, I remember both these scenarios very well, because why? Because what they said hit right into my nerves, the core of me. They crushed my self-esteem, my confidence, my sense of self and made me hated my body. I was so emotionally affected that I can remember how it felt, even today.
Tapi itu dulu lahh...
I'm wiser now. Words like that, though they still exist, don't bother me anymore. I have come to accept that this is how I'm supposed to be...I can't change it. It's in my genes, my DNA... it's me. When people make such comments, I would just politely smile and not say anything in defence. There is nothing to defend.
I'm all good.
I'm all good.
They're just being insensitive, that's all.
We all have our struggles when it comes to ourselves. Some hate their body, some hate their hair, some hate their mouth, lips, voice, big feet, even skin colour. But we didn't get to choose all these, did we? We did not make a bad choice, so there shouldn't be any regrets. These were all given to our souls to use.